Just the wife.

I have contemplated for years about writing down all that I have been through in my life, all the things that wives of military men have to deal with when they become mentally ill. I brought the idea to a few people only to be told the same thing I was told when my husband was active duty and when he retired, I was not so gently informed that I was just the wife. Well this "just a wife" has finally decided to share the personal struggles and the hardships that I have had to endure. I am sure that I am not the only one who has had to deal with daily life struggles, I thought that if I shared my struggles, it may just help someone else as they begin their struggles with the same issues. I realize that wives are considered just the wife to a soldier and that most only want to hear the soldiers story, but I think that wives and their struggles should be heard too. We may not have been to war but I promise we have our own set of battle scars. So let me begin nearly 20 years ago. I had known my husband since he was 15 and had moved in with his brother, although we were friends, we never dated until he was fully grown. We married a few short months before he left for basic training, I stayed with my parents while he was away for ait and then his first duty station in Korea. I was pregnant with our first child and gave birth just three weeks into his one year unaccompanied tour in Camp Casey Korea. It was not until after he came home from this tour that I began noticing differences in my husbands health. I did not realize it then, but our wonderful life and all the plans that we had were disappearing and the health issues would take over and literally derail our life plans.